Songs for the ARM Industry: A Playlist for the Holiday Weekend

Tim Bauer

[Editor’s Note 1: The following playlist is Tim-Bauer-specific and does NOT represent the (much better) musical tastes of almost anyone else — including a plastic case of goose eggs that can’t even hear music – in this company. THIS IS NOT OUR FAULT.]

Hello again everyone.

This is my latest blog posting for insideARM.  I never promised Hemingway-like prose. I also never promised that every single entry was going to be serious.

Even in our business (maybe especially in our business), every now and then we need to step back and relax. I relax with music. As we approach the long Memorial Holiday weekend it is time to talk ARM MUSIC.

I am a music guy.  I love all kinds of music.  My iPod capacity can’t match my hard drive of music. I still have shelves of vinyl that I can’t make myself give or throw away.

I also practically invented the mix tape.  While in High School and College I made all sorts of collections of songs on a vintage Sony Reel-to-Reel tape recorder. Check this little puppy out:

I know….it was pretty awesome.  Clearly I was a visionary……..way ahead of my time.

As I like to tell my children, I am also a very current guy. (BTW, they laugh when I say that.)  As such, I have graduated from the mix tape to Playlists, from vinyl to tapes to CD’s to the “Cloud”.  I am one of those nerds who believes it his sworn duty to share music with friends and find music that “fits” a particular occasion or individual.

Just a couple of years ago my friend (and long-time ARM industry veteran) Greg Paulo was undergoing some difficult heart surgery.  I put together a Playlist for him of appropriate hospital music such as “How to you mend a broken heart” by the Bee Gees or that Motown classic “What becomes of the broken hearted” by Jimmy Ruffin. (Not surprising, it was pretty easy finding 20 songs about a broken heart.)

For the long Holiday weekend I decided the ARM industry needed its own playlist.  Unfortunately, this proved slightly more challenging.  You just don’t find a lot of songs about collecting money. You can find a song about working in a coal mine, but not about working in a call center.

But, I was determined.  So, here they are; 16 songs for our industry.  Maybe I had to stretch a bit, but either the title somehow fits or the lyrics somehow fit or both.

1)      Simon & Garfunkel – “Baby Driver”: The lyrics are the key here. Customer Satisfaction is the new mantra.  “Just trying to keep the customer satisfied.”

2)      Elvis Costello and The Attractions – “(You’re not) The only flame in town”:  This is the philosophy of all ARM firms that have diversified from doing only credit card work.

3)      Elvis Presley – “Return to Sender”: The King sings about all of our returned mail.

4)      Bobby Darrin – “Beyond the Sea”:  Who knew that in 1959 Mr. Darrin would foresee the trend of Off-Shore Outsourcing?

5)      Blondie – “Call Me”:  The core of our business.

6)      B.B. King – “Nobody loves me but my mother (and she could be jivin too)”.  The ARM industry is under attack from all sides.  At industry conferences everyone is singing the blues about the state of the industry.  This title says it all. R.I.P. Mr. King.

7)      Wilson Picket – “634-5789”: This song is included in honor all of the manual dialing to cell phone numbers to ensure TCPA compliance.

8)      Jackson Browne – “Call it a loan”:  The Big Bang of the ARM industry.

9)      Aretha Franklin – “R.E.S.P.E.C.T”. The Queen of soul tells our staff how to treat consumers.

10)   Frank Sinatra – “Call Me Irresponsible”: Dedicated to staff (soon to be ex-staff) that just doesn’t seem to grasp the importance of compliant behavior.

11)   Amy Winehouse – “Someone to watch over me”:  Dedicated to the FTC, CFPB, and the various State regulatory bodies that oversee the ARM industry.

12)   Chicago – “Questions 67 and 68”:  These are the two questions on the bottom of page 3 of 10 in the Agency Questionnaire you just received from a client or prospect.  It is due in 3 days. Good luck in turning out a quality product.

13)   Bap Kennedy – “The Right Stuff”:  Little known Irish singer talks about the makeup of 50% of the job applicants for those positions you need to fill for that new project.

14)   Chris Isaak – “Baby did a bad, bad, thing”. One of your collectors, Jim “Big Baby” Smith (soon to be an ex-collector), just ignored 3 provisions of the FDCPA and committed 5 UDAAP violations in the same call. On a more personal note, this is ringtone for my daughter when she calls my cell.

15)   Dean Martin – “Ain’t that a kick in the head?”: The title is a perfect description of the last 5-7 years in the ARM industry.

16)   Joe Cocker – “The Jealous Kind”: The late, great Joe Cocker describes the feelings of owners of all ARM companies that are not successful in the latest ED RFP.

I am sure there are many more songs that would fit the bill (no pun intended). Please feel free to add a comment below with your suggestions.

[Editor’s Note 2: Oh boy you guys.]